What Are You Supposed To Do With This Chapter?
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What Are You Supposed To Do With This Chapter?
Some of the biggest changes in our lives arrive disguised as ordinary events.
This summer I talked with several moms whose oldest kids had just graduated high school and were heading off to college. Along with excitement and pride, almost every one of them said some version of the same thing: I’m not sure what comes next for me.
Graduations give us a shared way to recognize the transition from adolescence to young adulthood.
I remember my own high school graduation, back in the last century. I didn't think of it as a major milestone, but everything changed for me and my family with the newfound freedom of living away from home.
For students, there's greater independence, responsibility, ceremonies, celebrations, maybe even a special trip. All of this confirms: things are going to be different.
But what about the parents?
And, in particular, what about the moms who have spent twenty years or more deeply involved in the daily work of raising a family? Who acknowledges the time and effort that goes into keeping a household afloat while managing work, relationships, and everything else?
For some women, parenting has been a profound source of meaning and joy. It has offered opportunities to grow, take on new perspectives, feel deeply connected, give generously, and adapt to whatever the day requires.
When children leave home, there can be tremendous excitement and relief alongside something less easy to name: what happens when a role that has occupied so much of your attention begins to change?
There may be more time. More freedom. One less person counting on you for something. And while our children have been taking care of more all along, having them actually leave makes it unmistakable: they’re stepping into lives of their own, and our role is changing.
For some women, this season feels exhilarating. For others, it can feel surprisingly disorienting or sad.
Empty nesting is only one version of change that can happen at midlife. For women whose lives have centered on something else, the shift may look very different. Midlife can bring changes to careers, creative projects, relationships, and other meaningful pursuits. Our interests, values, and energy may shift in ways we didn't anticipate. We may realize that an identity we've carried for decades no longer fits quite as comfortably as it once did.
At some point, regardless of what has occupied our lives, we may find ourselves asking: Is this still working for me? What else might be possible?
Sometimes what we miss isn't even the role itself. It's the structure it gave our days. The people who depended on us. The feeling of being useful. The constant opportunities to learn, adapt, contribute, and connect.
We may discover that we're not simply asking, What do I want to do next? We're asking something deeper:
Who am I when this is no longer the center of my life?
And then there is the awareness of our own mortality, arriving right on cue.
As we move through midlife, we become more conscious that time is finite. We may even find ourselves thinking about what we’ve been postponing, and what we want to do differently now.
These questions don’t necessarily mean something is wrong. Sometimes they simply mean we’ve changed.
This season may be an opportunity to become more intentional about how you spend your time, energy, and attention.
Not more things. Not a dramatic reinvention. Something quieter. Something internal.
The satisfaction of knowing you can count on yourself to show up for your life, even on a hard day. The freedom to make choices that reflect who you are now. The willingness to be curious about what might come next without needing to have it all figured out.
Because even as many significant parts of life are behind us, we are not finished becoming.
Maybe this season is an invitation to know you, now.
Still Becoming: A Workshop for Women in a Season of Change
Rediscover Yourself. Cultivate Joy. Welcome What's Next.
I’ve been thinking about these questions so much that I decided to create a space to explore them with other women. On October 5, I’ll be offering an in-person workshop at the Wainwright House in Rye, where we’ll take some time to slow down, reflect, and consider what’s possible for this next chapter.
Through guided writing prompts, meditation, and unhurried conversation, we'll make space to take stock of where we are, reconnect with our strengths and values, and consider who we still want to become.
No experience with journaling or meditation is needed. Sharing is always welcome and never required.
Monday, October 5, 2026 · 11 a.m.–1 p.m. · Maximum 8 participants · $180 per person
https://www.wainwright.org/events/still-becoming-a-workshop-for-women-in-a-season-of-change
